Emotional Eating: Don’t Let Food Control Your Life

Posted on 06. Aug, 2009 by Julia Barnard in Articles, food

“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.” Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

What is emotional eating?

Food glorious food. If you are reading this then you are one of the fortunate people that has access to plentiful amounts of food. You can go to your cupboard or fridge and find something to cook up. Else you can drive to the shop or phone up for a take away. Anyway, the point is, there’s lots of it around. The next point is eating is a pleasure. It is a chance to engage our senses in something delicious. It also offers social opportunities – going out for dinner with friends or chatting with family at the dinner table after a day apart.

However, eating becomes a problem when we turn to food to deal with our emotions. You can feel happy, sad, stressed, worried, powerless, angry, excited… All are good excuses to eat. Rather than eating when you are hungry, you let your emotions determine when to eat (as well as what, quite often). Suddenly you are using food to make you feel better about the events going on in your life. You have ended up with a relationship with your food that is far more complex than it should be.

The trouble is, the food you are eating is changing nothing (except maybe your health and waistline). Your problems aren’t solved, your stress isn’t gone. It may however bring on a new emotion: guilt. This in turn is enough to turn to good old food once more in the hopes it will bring comfort. It doesn’t of course, so you feel worse than ever. And talking of comfort, I’m sure you know what your comfort food is. Chocolate, biscuits, chips, pizza, cakes or ice cream. The stuff full of fat and sugar. It’s never the food that’s good for you is it?

What you need to do is to learn how to NOT use food for coping with everything else that is going on with your life. The ideal situation is to enjoy your food for what it is and nothing more. Something tasty and nutritious that provides your body with the energy you need to survive. You also need to be able to cope with the stuff that is going on with your life in ways that don’t involve eating but bring real changes.

What you can do

Your relationship with food

Take the time to reflect on what your relationship with food is. Has it changed over the years? Was there a certain event that triggered the change or do you recall even turning to food as a child, during times of stress? Was it a change in circumstances? It is known that when couples move in together, women in particular eat more than they used to and often as much as their partner does.

You need to be aware of your current eating habit before you can change it. For one week keep a record of what you eat and when you eat it. Tune into when you use your emotions to determine when and what you eat. Is it certain emotions that draw you to food? Notice if there are changes in what you eat when you are in a particular mood. Try to be aware also of how much you are eating.

Your goal is to focus on enjoying food as a pleasure in itself, not to heal other wounds. It is also no use feeling guilty about the food you do eat. Instead focus on how the food feels in your mouth, the tastes and textures. Most pleasure arrives early on when you eat something. So really enjoy that moment.

Recognise that you deserve to look after yourself. You deserve to get the best from your body and looking after it will bring you these rewards. Food gives you the energy to live your life, allowing you to do the things you want to do. A life so fun-filled there’s no time for emotional eating!

If you recognise that all foods are okay in moderation then you won’t end up pigging out on your so-called ‘forbidden’ foods that you turn to when you are feeling down.

When you do have days when you feel food is the only way to go, forgive yourself when it happens. It is not the end of the world and you have not failed. Shrug your shoulders then get on with your day. Don’t give yourself another cookie to try and rid yourself of the bad feelings.

If you want it, go for it. Eating is a pleasure and you should eat it if you really fancy it. Please enjoy it though. Enjoy it for what it is – food that is giving your energy and a pleasure to your tastebuds. It is not going to stop your manager being a control freak, or resolve your argument with your partner. You need separate solutions for them.

Action you can take

Forget about the quick fix. Far more rewarding is to do things for yourself that will bring pleasures that last more than the moment and never bring about guilt. Write down what gives you pleasure and helps you relax. Try and come up with at least ten things and have it close at hand whenever you need it. I don’t have to mention that food isn’t allowed do I?

Manage your stress. Stress can affect us in many ways, so it pays to be aware of how stress affects you. Once you recognise what is going on, take the necessary steps to relax. Because you cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time. Relaxation is not an indulgence – it is important to both your mental and physical health. So grab your list of 10 pleasures and work your way through it.

You may want to include exercise on your list of ways to relax. It is a fantastic way to relieve stress and is far better for you than a giant sized bag of chips. Choose something that works for you personally, rather than something you feel you ought to do. If you think you don’t have enough energy, tell yourself you can stop after just 10 minutes. Chances are once you’ve started you’ll be energised  enough to keep going.

Another simple yet effective way to relax is deep breathing. Breathing slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth is incredibly calming and allows you a moment where you can just pause. Now if you want to be super efficient, try yoga which combines deep breathing with exercise.

Set aside time for your hobby. If you don’t have one, then find one! Pursue something you’ve always wanted to know more about. Make sure to keep things interesting as hobbies are a great way to give you a flow experience  that will bring good happy feelings and any thoughts of food are forgotten.

Get enough sleep. Tiredness may not only lower your resolve, but it can also lead you to eating unhealthy foods. It’s easy to justify getting a take-away, declaring you are too tired to cook. You may even end up eating more as you mistake tiredness for hunger. You find yourself eating when really you should be sleeping.

Know how to problem solve. It’s the non-edible way of dealing with your concerns. To distance yourself emotionally from your problem, put pen to paper. Write down your problem. Then brainstorm as many potential solutions as possible. Get creative and discard nothing, as one seemingly daft idea may lead on to something great. Then work through each possible solution and write down the pros and cons for each. From this you should be able to come up with a workable solution. Work out the details of implementing that solution and then remember to implement it.

Develop an internal locus of control. Recognise how much control you have over your own life. This includes how you respond to events that are seemingly beyond your control. By taking active control of your life you are able to do things to make it a better one. It can help you recognise that you do have control over your eating. You also have the power to make the necessary changes in your life.

Set a rule that nothing will be eaten in front of the TV. After a stressful day, it is easy to curl up in front of the TV, mindlessly eating. Instead, just focus on your program. If you want to eat, make yourself get up and eat elsewhere. Then focus on the food, without distraction. Take your time, relish (no pun intended) the flavours and textures.

Don’t have unhealthy foods in the house in the first place. How can you go to the cupboard for a packet of biscuits if they just aren’t there? Tempted to drive to the shop to get some? Take some deep breaths, grab your list of 10 pleasures, choose one and go do it immediately.

Know who your support is and know you can call on them when needed. Having someone to talk things over with is important. You can even send them an email to get your feelings out. Even better, find someone who you can talk to when you are craving food – someone you know will not encourage you to just pig out.

Increase your knowledge. Learn more about stress and how it should be managed. Discover the calorie content of your comfort food favourite. Find out why exercise is so beneficial and something we should all be doing.

Tags: control, emotional eating, exercise, flow experience, food, health, hobbies, mood, relaxation, sleep, stress, support, work