November: A Whole Month of Happiness and Wellbeing

Posted on 01. Nov, 2011 by Julia Barnard in Articles, happiness

November is the eleventh month of the year, but its name comes from novem, meaning nine as it was originally the ninth month of the year. As we approach the end of the year, we enter the holiday season. Generally this means time spent with family, as well as organising events whether large or small. So this month we will spend time ensuring you are prepared fully to deal with what can be a difficult time mentally. What follows are a number of ideas that are relevant now, but hopefully may come on useful for the rest of the year.

Have realistic expectations of what lies ahead. It’s easy when thinking about family gatherings to conveniently forget about what it’s really like and turn it into something perfect. Family members are civilised at all times, nobody has too much to drink, nothing goes wrong. However, with a good idea of what your family are really like, you won’t end up disappointed. So don’t expect people to change and don’t fret if things go wrong. In the grand scheme of things are burnt roast potatoes a good reason to get depressed?

Take control where you can and make your own decisions. You are an adult now with your own obligations. When you are faced with deciding how to manage family meet-ups it’s easy to forget this. If you are struggling to work out which family you will be visiting when, remember you need to do what works for you. Sit down with your partner and discuss a workable solution that doesn’t put you under too much stress. Once you have decided stick to it. Don’t become a victim of guilt or emotional blackmail. It is very difficult to please everybody, so probably not worth trying.

KISS. Keep it simple, stupid. Not that I’m calling you stupid, but I do want you to keep it simple. The more complicated you make things, the more stressed you will be and the more likely things will go wrong. Only do what you can manage in terms of time and money. Remember there are no rules, and I’ll repeat again: you cannot please everybody.

Kiss. When you get a chance, give your loved ones a kiss. If you are feeling harassed and not very ‘holiday spirit’, pause from your hectic surroundings and give your partner a hug.

Don’t cling on to old traditions that may no longer work as things have changed in your life. Create new ones that you can share with your nearest and dearest and that are a new source of joy for you.

Lighten up and laugh when you can. It is supposed to be a holiday after all. If you are visiting family, maybe take a comedy DVD along that you know everybody will like. If you see tensions rising, put it on, hand out the chocolates and hopefully the situation will be diffused. Remember, laughter is infectious, so it’s worth a try right?

Keep a check on your thoughts. If things aren’t going so well, it’s easy to believe it will never end. This isn’t true and you are adding to the stress with this type of thinking. Knowing things will improve at some point will help ease the burden and hopefully give you a new perspective.

Promise yourself a treat at the end of it and know what that treat will be. Let it be something indulgent just for yourself. Congratulations, you got through it in one piece!

If you’re going to be alone over the holidays, have a relaxation plan in place. Decide how you will spend your days. You have full control here! Before the event, make a list of all the things you’ve been wanting to do throughout the year but haven’t had time to do. Then use this time to indulge yourself. If you feel you want social contact, don’t hesitate to phone a friend or family member. You may even like to volunteer at this time. It’s easy to think unrealistically about what the world is doing – conflict free family gatherings that you aren’t a part of. This won’t be true. You may also think you are the only one alone. You won’t be.

Happy holidays wherever you are and whatever you are doing!

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

Tags: change, conflict, control, family, guilt, happiness, laughter, love, meaning, money, relaxation, thinking, wellbeing