On Being Yourself

Posted on 24. Jun, 2010 by Julia Barnard in Articles, self-esteem

How easy is it for you to be yourself? Do you ever pretend to be someone you are not, just to fit in? It is not always easy being yourself, especially if you know it goes against popular opinion. However if you have the courage to be yourself, you will invariably see yourself in higher esteem. You are no longer ashamed to be you. No more pretending or worrying about what others are thinking of you.  You may need to spend time getting to know yourself better, to help you on the path to being your true self and not someone you feel you ought to be. Take a look at the following components, which are interrelated to make up the person that is you.

Trusting yourself. If you trust yourself you will have the courage to make decisions that are right for you, say the words you want and own your beliefs. Try to stay inside your body as you go about your day. If you have ever had a flow experience where you are immersed in an activity you will know what I mean. You are too caught up to be making assumptions about what other people are thinking about you. Imagine the talented football player who continues to perform, even when a crowd of thousands are booing him.

Thinking for yourself. Do you know your own mind? Is it easier to let other people make decisions for you? Think about major life decisions, as well as small ones. Observe your behaviour when you are next in the position to make a choice. In addition, you may like to spend time looking at your values. Are they really yours or ones you feel you ought to have?

Speaking for yourself. This is me, this is who I am and this is what I believe in. Know that it is okay to have your own opinion. This is not always easy when so many people are keen to say a person is ‘wrong’, just because their opinion is different. Having a minority voice is not always easy either – you can end up feeling unpopular or alone. Bear in mind, you will not be alone with your opinion – I think the internet has shown us that.

Behaving as yourself. Particularly relevant here is your personality type. Understanding a bit more about your personality will free you up to behave as you want to, not as you feel you ought to. There is no right or wrong when it comes to personality. Introverts in particular may struggle to behave as themselves as there is often pressure to be more extraverted. Yet doing what feels right for you, no matter what your personality will bring greater happiness. The Myers-Briggs test will help you understand your personality type.

You can never please everybody, with your actions, thoughts and words. You can however, always please you if you know that you are being yourself.

Tags: choice, courage, flow experience, happiness, opinion, personality, thinking, trust, worry